dazinginmynuddypants

rarity on its own

2011-06-24T14:48:00.003+08:00

beautiful in its whole meaning is only how it is interpreted

beautiful people are a rare find

pretty, hot, gorgeous, babe are merely physical beauty

but the beauty within can only be appreciated when you get to know the person

i've always wondered what lies beneath

does being beautiful on the outside shapes your inner beauty

or is it the inner beauty that brings out your outer beauty

journey

2011-06-17T10:17:00.001+08:00

via happy things

rebirth

2011-06-14T13:16:00.004+08:00

"........... We went through all sorts of men babe. You and I both. We fell in love, we savour every single thing about the whole relationship, we discovered that that love was not it, we found out the hard way, the easy way, we just plainly found out. What do we do next? We cry. We cry our hearts out. Because that is the exact feeling we went through. Our heart was physically painful and we had to rub it just to make the pain fade away but it will never be completely gone. And we do just that just so we can pick up ourselves and move on."

- dada -

Damai Puri

2011-05-17T13:13:00.003+08:00

*Bad Review Post*- read at your own risk

Looks can be deceiving. And if i may say so, so does ratings, status and price. I went back for a short trip and stayed at Damai Puri Resort & Spa for a night with the family. And boy have i been deceived by the looks of the place and the pictures on their website. I have so much to say on my stay here. To sum it all up, it was totally a bad experience and considering i am quite traveled, i considered it the worst yet. There isn't anything to be desired apart from the view. No matter how mesmerized you are with the view, nothing could beat the quality, comfort, value for money and services.

The resort has a ridiculous rack rate of a 5 star hotel (the resort is 4 btw) which the resort only qualifies to be a 3 star and im still being nice here. For the price of RM2k for a one bedroom suite, i'd rather spent it on any one of the beautiful villas in Bali for half the price but double the luxury and service. Although newly renovated, the place is not well maintained and cleanliness seem not their priority. The fixtures and fittings were already showing signs of wear and tear. Not to forget their failure to emphasize on proper lighting in certain areas of the room.

From the moment of our arrival to this place. Things kicked off badly. As our car pulled in front of the lobby, we had to lug our own luggage to the waiting area. Instead of 'the bell boys are nowhere to be seen', the bell boys are actually right smack at the front, standing by chit-chatting and watching us carry our bags. They even had the nerve to tell us to just leave our bags at the side while we wait for check-in. Don't these staffs get any training?

Check-in time was delayed as well, as there were too many guests and too little staffs to make it efficient. The only good thing that came out of the whole waiting and horrible service, is probably the room upgrade, which isn't much when more bad experiences followed after.

More rantings:

The lift is carpeted. This is ok if its a city hotel, but for a beach hotel, the carpets will always get wet, mould and smell in a lift with poor ventilation. Hello!!?? Common sense.
Balconies are filled with bird poop. Dont you guys clean the balconies too when you do housekeeping??
I had dinner at their restaurant which happened to run out of some food due to a banquet happening concurrently. And the restaurant had only 3 tables filled that night. Are you serious? Didn't you plan beforehand for the banquet and purchase enough as to not 'steal' from the other F&B outlets?
I had a BAD steak. Literally. The steak was either defrosted in the microwave (a little too much from its frozen state which will give the meat a weird taste) before being cooked or it has gone bad, as it tasted like rotten meat or like it had been drowned in drain water, something like that. My dad said it tasted sour even. So we had it sent back to the kitchen for the chef to try it himself. And guess what was their ~~excuse~~ explanation. "the steaks (we had 3 that night) all came from the same source and therefore the meat couldnt be rotten as the rest were fine. the staff had seasoned it with rosemary and the strong flavours of rosemary may have been overwhelming for our taste" Can you believe that? Not to be snobbish or a show-off, but "excuse me chef, i know the taste of rosemary and i know the taste of rotten meat. and i dont have to be a chef to know that but because i am a trained chef, i know even more if you're giving me a LAME excuse". Pfffft. I was not going to pull out my cards and start challenging the exec chef, but i think he should have known better. They tried to compensate by giving us a round of nicely done ice cream FOC and not charge us for the steak. Nicely done if only they had been honest and admitted the fault (whatever it may be). I wouldn't have written this down.
Breakfast was disappointing tremendously. The spread was boring and too little choices. I have seen bigger spreads in smaller establishments. And the taste, i just wont go there.

My take on all this. There is a need in change of management, line out procedures, train the staffs and ensure the quality of the services. If things do not get acknowledged and improved at this point, i foresee a short lifespan for this resort. Such a waste.

Dont get me wrong, i love my hometown. But to have a resort which i can't be proud to rave about is such a shame.

little bub

2011-04-28T21:13:00.000+08:00

big bub. small bub.

Sis is preggers again! Soon my ~~cranky poo~~ ~~little aidan~~ big bub will have a small bub. Maybe another september baby. Crossing my fingers small bub will be a girl and perhaps a fellow Virgo. And soon i can start my obsession with all things cute and pretty once again. Hmm. "Maybe baby needs this, maybe baby's mummy needs that, maybe baby and mummy needs those." Kaching!

Will i be resuming my duties as a step-in bub handler during the confinement month? I sure hope so, i dont mind the diaper change, the broken sleep, the burping bub and so on. As long as i get to be by the little bub's side. And off course the mummy too. Its a good reason to have our sisterly bond since she'll bedridden (with breastfeeding and napping) and housebound for a month.

Call me crazy but i actually enjoyed my one month stay during big bub's arrival. Since it was at my sis's in-laws, that meant no chores and food on the table at clockwork times. And i loved the confinement food too. Weirdo much? All i need to do was tend to my sis, to the baby if my sis was busy, eat, nap, eat and nap some more. So you see, there's nothing to complain there.

Am hoping things will go smoothly with the pregnancy and the birth and the days after that. Cant wait to see the small bub! You'll be hearing from me when i come see u. Even though from inside the tummy! Big bub will definitely not be liking the shift of attention. But dont worry big bub, aunty nat still loves you very much!

ever lasting love

2011-04-27T11:59:00.000+08:00

this got me all teary.

a hope we all carry when deciding to marry.

love that is forever.

soak up the sun

2011-04-23T15:52:00.001+08:00

kk was HOT! i am ~~burnt~~ brown just after 4 days. on normal days, i am tanned, now i am looking like a charcoal. ok ok im exaggerating. there were worst times. haha. but considering i didnt voluntarily sunbath under the sun. this is pretty bad. :(

this trip was filled with a lot of food (seafood to be exact), beach bumming and a night out. seafood was in abundance as kk is located by the sea, fresh and enormous in sizes as well. from the usual clams, crabs and prawns to the unusual mantis prawn, whelk and giant cockles. after 3 days of seafood day and night, i returned swearing myself off seafood for a few days. time to pack on the meats! dont get me wrong, i am a seafood lover. being one who grew up in a place that has many. but having them for breakfast lunch and dinner just isnt going to cut it for me. hehe. sorry fruit de mare!

kk has many small islands off the coast and one is ridiculous to not soak in the sun. blissful sunsets followed by breezy peaceful nights. mingling with the beach boys, we got to try our hands at squid fishing. not for the impatient though. it's not like fishing for fishes. there isn't a fight, a struggle or even a tug. just throw-wait-pull and hope there is one at the end of the line. they do this almost every night and while waiting, they would sing to tunes strummed on their guitar. nightly catches are barbecued for dinner or supper. free meals directly from the sea. such a simple carefree life.

a night out in town was included to experience the local ways. a balance of serenity and chaos all in one. oh and not to forget, a birthday celebration on a private island thrown in between. bountiful laughter and fun filled adventure for all of us city dwellers.

packing had to include outfits for all these moments. loose clothes for growing bellies. light comfy clothes for scorching heat. fancy you-can-go-by-club-doors outfits for the night out in town. some essentials and a few good-to-have to make your trip as easy breezy as it can get.

here is what i have in my travel bag :

Essentials
bikini
nice beach maxi dress (doubles up as a night out dress)
short beach dress
short jumpsuit
a pair of day & night sandals
jammies
shorts
singlets
cardi*
toiletries
sunblock
make-up survival kit (victoria jackson kit comes in an all-in-one box, just fab to lessen the load)

Good-to-have
hat
shades
fan (battery operated if possible)
wipes (can get stuffy and oily sometimes)
lip balm
camera (if you dont already have a bunch of papparazi following you)

* why on earth would you need a cardi for a beach holiday? contrary to logic thinking, it can get quite cold at night and early mornings. and being someone who is not very accustomed to cold weather. it is a much needed attire. :)

with all these basics, you're good to go. enjoy!

the right knot

2011-04-10T11:32:00.001+08:00

my dear fashionista has tied the knot. and as she embarks on this new journey of being a wife, i wish her happiness and many blessings always. to new beginnings and happy endings babe!

hands full

2011-04-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

This month marked a new beginning in my journey. Im putting on hold works on the 'MOVE' for now and trying to concentrate more on this new pet project. At least till the end of the year. If it works, god knows what it'll bring, but if it doesnt, then close chapter move on. *Backup plan needed here!

I have less than three months to plan. Omigosh! Time flies by like the wind, only the wind u can feel. Sigh. Then its full mode on, working out the plans and making it work. No more excuses this time. I have ~~all~~ most of the time in the world to get it going.

My current want is a slow cooker for yummy stews and flavour enriched soups from hours of simmering. Yum. This one from West Bend is a dream come true, although im not sure if i could get it here in Malaysia.

What's so amazing about this pot is that the heating base can double as a griddle or warming tray. Fantastic right? Below is the detailed information about the cooker.

I do wonder one thing though. Because traditional slow cookers are fully covered (insulated), i wondered if this open concept would actually affect the quality of slow cooking?

6-quart oblong cooking vessel doubles as serving dish for added convenience. Large-capacity for family-sized meals or entertaining. Vessel can be used on stove top or in oven and even stored in the refrigerator or freezer!
Heating Base doubles as a light-duty griddle or a warming tray.
4 Temperature Settings (Warm, Lo, Hi and Griddle) and programmable cook settings allow extra personalization while cooking. At end of programmed settings, the Versatility™ cooker automatically switches to "Keep Warm" for serving.
"Keep Warm" setting will automatically turn power off after 24 hours.
Cooking vessel and glass cover are dishwasher-safe. Interior of cooking vessel is non-stick.
Includes roasting rack for added convenience and cooking options.

papa dont preach

2011-03-30T23:25:00.000+08:00

we are human. we are not god. 

we are not perfect. we WILL make mistakes.

preach only if you can keep up. otherwise it makes you a hypocrite.

put yourself in others' shoes. only then will you SEE.

we are all the same.   each with our own flaws. no better than the other.

just different circumstances. different challenges.

the ones who portray themselves righteous are usually the ones who fail miserably.

take this as a lesson to be learned.

road to failure

2011-03-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

Why do projects fail?

Because of the team, off course.

In a project, you need a project team.
Your team should consists a project manager (PM), admin/coordinator, project exec/supervisor and other team members (the people who runs the project).

The project manager oversees everything. He/She is the one, everyone else reports to. He/She is the one who makes the final decision. He/She is the one who plans the outcome.

Then there is the coordinator or administrator. He/She is the one who coordinates the communication, meeting, updates and feedback between the PM and the rest of the team. Kind of like a secretary cum assistant.

Next you have the project exec/supervisor who oversees his/her team's progress in their division or departments. Not the whole project but parts that make the project a whole.

Then you have the team members (ppl of their own department expertise) who run the forefront of the project e.g programmers who program the software, legal team who writes the policies etc.

Now, imagine if the team members are not proactive and do not corporate with other team members unless forced to do so at which during big meetings all issues come up.

Add that with a project exec who has to run everything from being the coordinator to the minutes taker, to being a secretary to everyone, having to personally remind them endlessly about the next meeting, to oversee each team members' work, to the need to fill in for the PM when he/she is not around, to having to chase the team members who are not even on-site (working from home), having to organize everything, not to forget to not only supervise but also do work that should be done by more than one person, to formalizing documents, source for resources, to handling correspondences and the list just goes on and on and on.

That is definitely setting the project up for failure. Especially true when you're heading towards the execution of the project. Planning and development may not need that many resources, but executing the project takes a whole lot of effort to materialize.

Multi-tasking is good. But not when it is an ENOURMOUS load of multi-tasking. There is only so much one person can multi-task. So unless everyone else in the team multi-task as well, nothing can speed up.
Perhaps that is why it took so many years for the project to materialize??

If everyone were to not only play their part but be more involved in trying to make the project a success (instead of just focusing on this is my part n i just need to do my part), the project would have been on a better road to success. If everyones' mindset is 'this is our project, lets make this happen', wouldn't it be a smoother road with less bumps and roundabouts? Money spent on dormant team members could have been used for other resources. Budget may be the issue but no reward comes without the hard work, sacrifice and money spent.

Sometimes, people have a tendency to overlook things. Time and again i hear this phrase from different people "the hardworking is overworked while the unproductive is left floating happily". Perhaps its time to pay attention and re-evaluate the reason why the tree you have been nurturing is not bearing any fruits.

7-day rule

2011-03-06T13:19:00.001+08:00

Remember my new year resolution on eating healthily? Yup, i am taking that step. Kicked off on the 10.01.11 I came up with my own 7-day rule diet plan.

I wasnt planning to actually follow a diet plan. Not wanting to do any drastic changes, as that will only put me into a yo-yo diet. Which has happened numerous times. I just needed to change my eating habits in a subtle way but more to healthier choices without skipping the pleasures in life.

No need to turn vegan. Cut out all fats and the likes. Just more fibers, vege, fruits, wholesome soups and less meat. There is no specific reason why the plan is arranged as such, just makes it easier to remember and give way to weekend events and happenings.

I also keep a food journal which helps me keep track of what i eat and helps me stick to the plan. At the end of each week, i will weigh myself and compare with the week before. Dont forget to add in exercise as well.

Now, dont expect to loose a big chunk in your weight. This plan is not designed to do that, it is for you to eat healthily and if you havent been you will lose some weight gradually.

Here is the lowdown of my plan:

M - Meatless Monday
T - Twice the Vege Tuesday
W - Whitemeat Wednesday
T - Twice the Fiber Thursday
F - Fruity Friday
S - Sinful Sharing Saturday
S - Soupy Sunday

7-DAY MEAL PLAN

MEATLESS MONDAY

Its like being a vegan for a day. No consumption of any type of meats. That means no meat, poultry or seafood. Dairy is allowed. Which means eggs, butter, milk etc is ok. Vegetarian meats are an exception.

TWICE THE VEGE TUESDAY

Pile up on the vegetables. One portion of meat to two portions of vegetables. Cut down on carbs like rice and noodles.

WHITEMEAT WEDNESDAY

Meals with only white meats (chicken, fish, turkey) and no red meats (beef, veal, game). Accompany meals with starch and vegetables.

TWICE THE FIBER THURSDAY

Pile up on the fiber. Consume brown rice, high fiber cereals, high fiber vegetables and fruits, whole-wheat, oat etc. Smaller portions of protein and starch.

FRUITY FRIDAY

Juice up with fresh fruit juices and lots of fruits for snacks. Finish each meal with a serving of fruit.

SINFUL SHARING SATURDAY

A day where you can cut some slack and give your cravings a break. Balance out with a healthy salad for lunch and share a sinful meal for dinner or vice versa. Satisfy your cravings for a good sinful meal but a portion for 2. You still get to eat what you love, but you get to cut down on the bad stuff.

SOUPY SUNDAY

After a sinful day before, ease your bowels with soups for your tummy. Good for easy and quick digestion, rest your bowels after a hard days work. Work around a wholesome hearty soup and a light simple soup. But don’t forget to snack in between.

Do write in if you are giving this plan a try. Would love to know what difference it has made to your life.

Cheers

xoxo

the grass is always greener on the other side

2011-03-03T15:09:00.000+08:00

......well, that is until you get to the other side. And then you realize, its not so green there after all. Its only human nature that we always want more, want better and we put it on ourselves that others have it easier or more privileged than us (which may be true at some point) overlooking the fact that there are others that are less privileged and blessed than us. God is fair like that. It may look green on the other side but beneath that perhaps the soil is muddy. We must always be grateful for what is given to us but that said, it does not mean we shouldn't try to be better or work harder.

I have my moments. Moments where i feel why is life so difficult? So unfair? Moments where i feel envious of others and sometimes annoyed that their lives look so good. But we never know do we? It may look good but actually it is not at all. What you are lacking, they may have and what they are lacking you may have. So ive learnt to accept that God is fair at being unfair. Because at the end of it, if you were God and you knew everything about one's life, you'd see that it is all fair and equal. Just different circumstances.

Whenever i feel ~~down~~ trialed, i would always tell myself. That He will not test me anymore than i can handle. And because of that, i know however hard it may be, i am and will be able to overcome the obstacles. And i will always remind myself that even when you feel your life is hard, there are others who have it harder than you and for that you should be thankful. Although i have to admit, i am not always optimistic and because of that even i have trouble telling myself that. Pfft.

I am a dreamy person. But im not ambitious. Geddit? I mean i have big, big dreams. Dreams of going places, doing things i love, getting inspired etc etc. However, i am not ambitious to get the most out of it. Im not ambitious enough to lets say be the best in what i start doing. I dont shall we say reach for the stars? I just want to be amongst them. I want to be noticed but not in the limelight. Oh how much more fickle can i be?

I would say i am kind of a Jack of all trades but Master of none. I want and i AM able to do a lot of things. And i am proud of that. I am proud of myself that i have the ability and thirst to know and do things. Most of which i pick up on my own through trying or observation. BUT......i do not master any of my ability. *sighs* And that is ok because i feel its good to know a lot than to be good at only one thing. Why limit yourself right?

So perhaps the grass may be greener on the other side after all, you'll never know until you try. It may work for you but not to others. Knowledge is limitless and experiences are a plenty. Dont live in a cocoon. Rock on!

vintage fever

2011-01-19T00:26:00.003+08:00

fashion is a cycle.

i for one have caught the vintage bug.

perhaps it comes with age as well.

the love for sophistication, sleek and sultry.

it just grows on you.

am loving these simple pieces.

gold and bold.

some pretty neat thrift finds.

xoxo

tech addiction

2011-01-08T13:16:00.001+08:00

online shopping is evil

credit cards are a curse

my new found addiction. like any other, its not good as it drains you financially. be it drugs, alcohol bla bla bla and in my case ONLINE SHOPPING!!!!

i should never have applied for that credit card. and i should never have popped my cherry in online shopping in the first place. now i cant seem to fight the temptation or the urge to get that one piece, parading and calling out to me. bummer.

it all started with an innocent browse down the cyber lane of shopping sites. since i hardly go out window shopping anymore. i took another method of window shopping too literally. then i was hooked. n shopping in stores is a distant memory.

my advice to those out there who have not yet tried or is thinking of trying online shopping?

DON'T! Big no no if you cant control yourself like yours truly who has become a techy shopaholic.

*sigh*

2.0.1.1

2011-01-03T11:37:00.008+08:00

Happy New Year!! Yes, we managed to survive another turmoil year and if the movies were right, we have only one year left to live. So buckle up guys and enjoy the moment. Not that i actually believe the movies. I just feel we should all live our lives as fully as we possibly can, because we may not see tomorrow. Anything can happen right?

Anyways, enough with trying to sound philosophical and wise. After a few quiet new years, this year was a change. I actually went out of the house and celebrated. And if that wasn't surprising enough, we had a two-day celebration this time around. With a night out at HEX and Backyard on the eve and a dinner cum potluck at my place the next day.

Being silly with Mr.C @HEX

Dinner spread @my place

jerk slow roast lamb leg with rosemary brown sauce
chicken coq au vin with cream
fatty crab fried chicken (Mr B's)
bacon mash potatoes (Ms J's)
grilled veges - zucchini, eggplant. peppers and mushroom
canape puffs - bacon & cheese and tomato, mozarella & basil
spiral pasta with salami bits and tomatoes
apple pie & vanilla ice cream (Ms D's)
rose pandan jelly with ideal milk (Ms M's)

And with every year comes the resolution (not necessarily new, haha). But this year, i decided some things has really got to change and i've come up with quite a different list. A brand new list for a brand new me. Hopefully i am determined enough to fulfill them.

2011 Resolution

Work towards … Research and find options.
Update resume.
Apply for scholarships in …??
Apply for jobs in …
Learn cake decorating. Get a cert.
Venture into candy/theme buffets.
Eat healthily. Lots of soups and veges Cut the portions.
Detox every month. 1 week program.
Enrol in TruYoga?? Exercise more. Dance class??

The first 4 are closely related to each other. Fifth one being a bonus either or. Basically my goal this year is to see these through. The others are more of a lifestyle change and a little extra venture. You may be wondering, what's with the dot dot dots. Well, i will have to be a little discreet in the details of those as i do not want to jinx it. If it does happen, I'll share the good news when it comes.

I must say i have been on track so far as i have kicked-start a few things and is very well on my way to the next step. Yes, i didn't procrastinate and actually took that first step. I came up with a list & a mission and i actually took action. I didn't put my list out of sight and out of might. *Pats on the shoulder* Ha ha.

It's a good start and i hope I'll keep it up. Here's to the year ahead!! Cheers.

xoxo

the next milestone

2010-12-27T18:36:00.004+08:00

i am in need of a change. i think i have remained idle in this chapter for far too long. its time to get my engine going and start planning the move. i have always had the idea somewhere buried in between those tangled brain cells. i just haven't got the guts to seriously do it. but now, the time has come and i can see it calling.

i have to think long and hard about it though as this is and will not be a small step up the stairs, not a tiny hop in the park. this will be a huge change, taking a big chance. how long will it take me to get there and how long will it make me stay all depends on myself and the will of god. i have to somehow start somewhere.

i am scared. i must admit. behind my independent exterior, there is actually this lost little girl scared of the big bad world. i may seem very detached but i am actually clingy. i love the comfort of home, of having people around, of being in familiar places and surrounded by familiar faces.

i am, at the same time terrified of change.......

santa came early

2010-12-20T23:19:00.004+08:00

This month is a good one. A couple of long weekends and family visits. Not to forget weddings too! Not mine off course.

To put icing on the cake, Santa (in the form of my dad, mum and sister) came early this month bearing presents i've always been wishing for. Its like a dream come true. I felt like i was brought to a toy store and told "Here, pick whatever you want". Only in my case, the toy store is a kitchen haven.

No worries though, Santa's gifts are not without reasons. It is not so much a want but more a need.

A couple of weeks back, i got myself a brand new oven. Yay! A convection one to replace my dying 12 years old normal oven. After enduring many cranky times with my oven, with the temperature mood swings and breaking a thing or two, i finally said hello to an ELBA stainless steel, semi digital, 10-function range. Why semi digital? Just in case the electronics decides to kaput on me, i'll still be able to use the oven. Hopefully. Ooohh im super excited to put it to work this New Year. *sigh*

Next in line was my long awaited mixer, to replace the two (cheap ones) that have broken down from my constant stubbornness to not overwork them. Poor thing. After almost going crazy trying to pick out which colour will be the best and comparing features *cough, i finally settled for this.

My very first KitchenAid

Disappointment, my KitchenAid had a little defect (broken piece), and i am not happy about it. So much for trying to save a few hundreds. Pfffft. Suppliers give you this very wonderful picture of benefits and ease of replacement shall anything go wrong and the minute you've purchased the product, all of a sudden all the picture turn somber. Nothing they promised actually applies after that. So deceitful. Now i have to wait for a replacement part which they claim is not under warranty, although the thing came to me broken before i even had the chance to use it. Sucks.

Now to deviate my sadness, i want to show you the other stuffs that i received. Tadaa, a whole lot of baking gizmos and gadgets. All from Aussie......which is so much cheaper than here.

Cookie cutter set and recipe book ( i love the measuring spoons!)
silicon mats and silicon baking wares
alphabet and numeric cookie cutters
digital weighing scale (touch pad mind you) and non-stick rolling pin
egg separator
cupcake stand

And a body butter set in Coconut Cherry, Pomegranate and Pineapple Vanilla. Yummy to hydrate my dry tired skin. I hope i don't get allergy reactions from using the Pineapple Vanilla though since i am allergic to pineapple (of all things right?). So i think i will give it a patch test before i turn red and itchy all over. Hehe.

Im a happy camper.

Pet project:
Bought some herb seeds to try grow my own fresh herb garden. I need to quickly transfer my onions and garlic to a bigger pot too before they start filling up the whole space. Chop chop!

dancing with Delicious

2010-11-23T14:57:00.004+08:00

Oh dear! This post is long overdue. I think it would have grown mold had it been alive in the draft box. Or probably dead, since i have not tended to it for so long.

Anyways, these pictures are from a birthday celebration we had for Mz Fashionista's fiance. A yummy sinful dinner in Delicious@Dua Residences.

It was the first and the last birthday before they are officially Mr & Mrs. Such a fairytale union these two.

I had a fun crazy night with them crazy bunch. I love how spontaneous these people are and being around them kinda brings out the silliness in me as well. (Im usually very quiet and shy, boring almost actually)

And it was one of the few nights i get to dress up following themes and take my shoes out for some exercise and parade. Hehe.

(Oh gosh, i just realized how long my hair is. Gotta do something new. Its been due time yeah. I dont normally last this long. Bravo)

We took pictures everywhere and anywhere. Each stop after a few steps were a photo opportunity. Can you tell? Hehe.

But most of all, it was the company that stands out the most. The bond, the love and the laughs they shared. Priceless.

xoxo

coq au vin & poker

2010-11-12T16:10:00.001+08:00

sam and i had an impromptu dinner cum poker night on a weekday. not something that happens very often. in fact not in my books at all. it usually happens in sam's books. n occasionally i get to participate haha.

i had a mad rush after work to get my groceries and continued with the mad rush preparing dinner, which was something i had to also quickly pick out in my head before deciding on the menu. kudos that the combination turned out ok. pheww.

dinner menu:

coq au vin (first timer)

aglio olio (usual suspect, specially requested by sam)

sauteed mushrooms & baguettes (another usual suspect)

mash potatoes (must have)

this was the first time i made coq au vin and i am glad it was a crowd pleaser. paired with mashed potatoes, aglio olio and sauteed mushrooms, it was a match made in natalie land (cant be heaven right?). and then the usual me, forgets to take the pictures. *sigh*

after we have all filled out tummies, it was out with the poker chips and po po poker face!

sunday cravings

2010-10-31T23:52:00.002+08:00

i was craving for my dad's 'daging asam pedas' today and so i decided to make some for lunch. although it will never be the same as my dad's cooking, i am quite happy with my version. i added my own personal touch. hehe. but i must admit, i went a lil bit crazy with the turmeric, hence my asam pedas looked more like a curry as the red turned orange. oooppss.

i also made some french beans with fried anchovies for my vegetable fix. served together with fluffy steamed white rice. yum.

oh. and Happy Birthday beloved sis!! xoxo.

purple hues

2010-10-31T03:46:00.003+08:00

i am in the mood for some home improvement. it is finally time to change the moods in the house. swapping reds with more earthy, comfy colours like purple and mocha. matching pinks with matte white furniture. it's part of the plan, broken down into smaller projects with time.

i cant wait to get my own place and start from zero. filling it up with my finds along the way. choosing yummy colours, practical furniture and functional knick knacks.

so many ideas, so little moolah. sigh.

on one of my beach trips, i collected these beautiful lilac shells. the colours stand out softly against the black sparkly sands. an addition to the brown clams and floating candles.

tiger biger was in one of his usual cutesy sleeping mode. how adorable.

my package came today. so excited. oh the ease of online shopping. no more waiting in line. saves traveling time. im a happy camper.

kiss & tell

2010-10-28T23:59:00.001+08:00

i am not one to wear make up. unless there are occassions, some nights out or days when i feel like being pretty. oh and occassionally when im super bored and in an experimental mode.

besides, i am not good with make up. i dont know how to use foundation flawlessly. i dont know how to create smoldering eyes. or use bronzer. let alone put on fake eyelashes and mascara.

not to forget it is so much effort to do so. to pick the right eyeshadow, the right lipstick. and the whole kaboodle of putting on 'the' face. sigh. if only i have ppl to do it for me.

ultimately, i am just too LAZY!! and i am not blessed with flawless skin. boo!

apart from random cam-whoring, i am not one to jump at a photo opportunity either. one, i am not photogenic. two, i dont have a good side profile. three, i am super insecure with my eyes. yes, my 'sepet' eye. where one is smaller than the other.

im considering eye surgery but am scared at the same time. not to even them out so i look better, but more for my eyesight which i strongly believe is affected because of it. every time i get a different diagnosis on my eyesight. then there is the darkness problem and when my eyes are tired or swollen, its hard to see. hmmm...

but u know what, i am grateful even with the flaws. i am alive, living and perfectly normal.

E-day on D-day 10.10.10

2010-10-23T00:08:00.001+08:00

Mz Fashionista is now officially a fiance. Woohoo. Congrats on the engagement babe! Im just going to let the pictures speak for themselves.

Pink. Fun. Friends. Ribbons. Family. Quirky. Love
Oh and a bit of boasting......because i am amazed with myself haha.
I made the hand bouquet (which probably would look better if the flowers were to bloom properly) and the sirih junjung found here and the cookie favors and the small bit for putting the engagement ring.
And now im inspired to do event planning. Sigh.

pocketful of laughter

2010-08-05T12:37:00.005+08:00

It's miss D, my siamese twin's birthday today.

Happy Birthday Babe!!

And instead of writing her a poem, it was the other way round. Hehe.

I guess i dont quite have the knack for writing my own poems.

Written by miss D:

Such a lot have been acted out and felt

Could really make anyone else just melt

But the journey is not at its end yet!

I had my laugh and smiled til my face hurts!

And then I curl up and cry filling up buckets

But yet my side and back, you never really left

A best friend you are for eternity sake

We have been together since we were in teens

You were known as the glamour one while I was the one who was forever thin

Family came in between but we never let “us” grew thin

No one really understands how tight we hold on to this thing!

Boys and men come and go

Some even tried to make us feel bodoh

Yet we never let them make us feel loso (hahahah apa jak lah tek kotan nak molah nya rhyme)

Because they are the ones yang menar-menar bodoh! Hahahahaha

Life was hard and full of trials and tribulations

But our friendship was the one making it a survivation (hahaha grammar mistake oi)

You are so good for my salvation

As I am great for your kill of depression

Thank you babe, you are the best

Please remember that you must also get your rest

Thanks for creating our own little safe nest

A place where we’ll go to be above than all the rest

Babe,

I've always enjoyed reading your poems about us.

You crack me up and bring me back to funny memories of our younger days.

Our journey through life, growing up from a girl to a lady to a woman.

Yet you never fail to remind me of the bond that we share.

Thanks for being there for me all through the way.

Through bad decisions and good outcomes.

The highs and the lows, the cries and laughter.

It is something we've shared that no one can replace.

Love ya,

Hugs and scream.

Vogue for Evoque

2010-07-26T19:07:00.001+08:00

My dream car..........*sigh*

While many would kill for a sports car, I for one will die for a lean mean machine like this Range Rover Evoque. Yes, fast cars appeal to me and are super sexy, but it's not so efficient for everyday living (now now i'm not talking about speed).

"The all new Range Rover Evoque is the smallest, lightest and most fuel efficient Range Rover to date, with sub 130g/km of CO2 emissions - continuing our commitment to environmental sustainability."

Isn't it just sexy and sleek? Not to forget, it is also environmental friendly and fuel efficient. Designed by (yes.........queen of posh) Victoria Beckham together with Vogue, the interiors are shouting with class and elegance. *swoons*

Tune in to www.helloevoque.com for more info and progress of this superb looking machine.

intellectual or know-it-all

2010-07-08T18:34:00.001+08:00

would you consider someone who knows a lot of things and can hold a decent conversation on many different topics an intellectual or a know-it-all? would you be interested or challenged to have a conversation with that someone? or would you be annoyed and try avoid having to talk to that person, perhaps by ignoring or shutting them off?

i would like to admit (or probably believe so, so as to not feel stupid maybe??) that i am someone i would consider intellectual in the sense that i can hold a decent conversation in a wide range of topics. i dont necessary know everything but i think i do make the effort to learn a lot of things, from facts to fictions, news to entertainment bla bla bla. i dont think i am a know-it-all, i just happen to know many things. is that bad?? n its not something im trying to show off, its just that i do enjoy gathering and exchanging info and opinions. 

sometimes i just dont understand why people cant see the difference. for me a know-it-all is a person who must have say in everything and whatever they say is almost always way better than yours, way superior than yours. but hardly on the same level. n at times they can ridicule themselves or just sound stupid unknowingly. but a person who knows a lot, doesnt necessary say 'yes, me too!!!' in everything. they just have something they would like to share. something they knew that others may not.

what do you reckon??

monday blues??

2010-06-14T18:57:00.006+08:00

i am back from a much needed r&r in khao lak. basking myself in the sun hoping to tan but not over-burnt. endless sleep day after day and waking up to the sound of waves. breakfast with the view of chopping waves against the bare beach. chasing crabs and mud-skippers in between moldy rocks. sun deck chairs with some light reading 'the trouble with sauce'. the breeze blowing and teasing. with the low season, there are hardly any crowds. peaceful and serene, not a reason for chase. the best room and location right smack on the beachfront. who could ask for more.

world cup fever is down again. this time with a different atmosphere and crowd. old memories of crowding the telly and chanting own teams lingers. a mix of old and new star players. a chance for scouting talents and maybe some eye-candy *wink*. im rooting for Spain (more to Casillas) and Argentina (Messi and because of Maradona who cleaned up quite well) and perhaps Germany. But all can change as the games play out. Maybe there will be a change of heart. hehe.

as i ponder on the future, how life could be or should be. i am bewildered with my own self motivation. not to mention what life has thrown at me one after the other. a roller coaster between satisfaction and wanting something more. oh dear future, what do you have in store for me?

three

2010-06-11T15:49:00.001+08:00

the big 3 ...........

no not the '3-0' well at least not for another few years.

though its not that far away come to think of it.

today marks three years of compromise, ups and downs, highs and lows.

sayang, cheers to many more!

xoxo

how now brown cow

2010-05-18T19:02:00.001+08:00

the tables are turned

what have we learned

is the journey worthwhile

or could this be goodbye?

why is there revenge

when love is supposed to be

the most wonderful thing

two people can share.

mis steps

2010-05-12T17:39:00.001+08:00

i dont know what went through my mind or

what has gotten into me to have taken that road towards destruction

but what i do know now is that,

one single wrong decision can lead to numerous wrong decisions

and inevitably towards unwanted consequences.

could it be the vent up anger or unsatisfaction

or perhaps resentment or revenge towards unwilling disappointments

or maybe, just trying to prove a point or two

turning the tables around

......... i dont know

but i am blessed

to be forgiven and allowed

a room to make mistake and learn

as i am only human.

i am truly sorry.

mystery package

2010-04-29T17:42:00.015+08:00

mood: excited little girl in candy store

waking up today wasnt a thrill at all

i was feeling rather moody after falling asleep unsettled

dragging my feet to work was work by itself

then.........i was greeted by a package on my desk

my wish of some tlc came true

a care package from across the sea

filled with love and thoughts

nick knacks and a heartwarming note

which really made my day

oh the excitement of the surprise

the anxiety to know the content

my eyes lit up every time an item was taken out

each with its own purpose

a reminder of things i loved

thank you my dearest twin

you made me remember how nice it feels

xoxo

imperfections

2010-04-25T17:16:00.003+08:00

Why do some create a whole twist and turns of excuses to wiggle their way from admitting the truth?
If you keep up with their ever changing stories and sort of principals, you get to know how hypocritical they are. And for the sake of what? To be liked, to get attention and to be seen as PERFECT.

It just annoys me, especially when they do it to my face. And most of the time, i really marvel (sarcastically) at their antics thinking they could fool me. You really dont have to do all those things to be liked. That's just immature thinking. Just be yourself and accept who are and people will like you just the way you are.

Dont pretend to be nice if you dont want to.
Dont act all chummy when it looks really pretentious.
Dont be nice one second and ignore the next.
Dont say things just to fit in and change them as you go so you could blend in.
Dont act like you know everything and make yourself look stupid in the end.
Dont always have to have a say in everything.
Dont fish for compliments and vie for attention.
Dont become plastic and vain.
Dont show off and think you're the only one who's got it.
Dont alter your appearance and be proud of it.

And the worst of it all is when someone says things to diss you or what you do but end up doing the same things or even worse. They like to put you down or make you look bad just to divert the attention so that ppl cant see their flaws and imperfections. Sad.

Hey, i am not perfect. I admit it and i dont pretend that i am. And i accept my flaws and imperfections. If you dont like me, too bad. If you do, great.

pitstop

2010-04-23T12:11:00.002+08:00

I am back. To reality and home. Really?

Singapore was a grueling experience.

With a semi-injured foot (will come to this), i wobbled across 8 halls of close to 100 000 sqm.

Two days, non-stop from dusk till dawn.

Injuring my feet even further with blisters and cramps.

Add that with kilos of weight in the form of brochures on each shoulder.

And you have a battered body which screams for remedies.

Hot water bath for soaking blistered red feet.

Muscle relief patches for shoulders and neck.

And a good long sleep to recover from the pain.

I need a massage desperately. Some TLC and a care package perhaps.

Going outstation for work is hardly a holiday.

Im really thinking of going for a break to replace this break.

In two weeks time, another outstation calling.

This time, with body oriented activities by the beach.

Mingling of colleagues on the tiny patch land of Melaka.

But i get to see mum & dad after.

The looking forward factor of the weekend.

Coming back to the foot.

Night or darkness blinds me.

A short walk down the stairs in an almost pitch dark cinema.

I missed my footing and tumbled down a few rough flight of steps.

And landed awkwardly on one foot.

Embarrassed and in pain, i braved through the movie (will come back to this too).

Only to be left semi-immobilized by the end of the day.

The movie. SHUTTER ISLAND.

Left me feeling i should have gone home and nursed my foot.

Just when i thought i had it all figured out halfway into the show.

The ending leaves me more puzzled than the beginning.

Off course, this is the work of Martin Scorsese.

Often dark, elusive and mind boggling.

A movie revolving around a mental institution.

An opportunity to leave u mentally challenged (not the disability).

In all the chaos, my mind is more concerned on one thing.

My dearest Siamese twin is facing some rough patches.

And i feel so handicapped not being able to do much.

I do hope she will be strong enough to pull through.

As much as she will motivate me, i will do the same for her.

Babe, i will walk with you through your predicament.

One step at a time, challenge by challenge.

And you will come out of it, STRONGER than ever.

Love ya.

Some pictures from a birthday do.

shut down mode

2010-04-02T16:48:00.005+08:00

mood: lazy, lethargic, distressed
weather: down and gloomy

today im feeling utterly lazy.
i have no desire to get anything done.
i am, in the office, on my desk
heavily discouraged by my surrounding
not wanting to do any work, any typing, any thinking

yet i feel uneasy, distressed and anxious
such a workaholic that i am
who's not used to complete idleness
knowing that there is much to do
and there is much that has not been done

but my mind refuses to think
my hands feels heavy
a gloomy weather surrounds
and endless chitter chatter irritates

i need positive energy
early morning sunshine
refreshing sea breeze
breathtaking scenery
bliss

Allot Like Love

2010-03-23T21:36:00.001+08:00

Introducing:

Special gifts and hampers for all occasions. We adore individuality. No two are alike.

This is a joint venture between Mz Fashionista and me. Its our baby project together. We're still starting up, nurturing it slowly but we have big hopes and dreams for it. We plan to spread our wings, broaden our horizons and put smiles on your faces.

We are two fun, ambitious, career girls who aspire to grant wishes with the remaining time we have left sans working hours.

Below are just some of our projects in the past. Enjoy!!

Our very first promo:Raya Promotion

Wedding Favors

Birthday Favors

Engagement Favors

tinkle thursday

2010-02-19T13:09:00.003+08:00

received good news yesterday
losing myself in work and time does pay off
im quite proud with myself
there are possibilities
i dont doubt that now

wish i could share with my loved ones
unfortunately i sense mediocre reactions
not a big deal for the accomplishments

when expectations are much higher

when what u do does not follow the mould

all the excitements are boxed in
like a pressure cooker
would anyone care
or its just another ordinary news
if only things were different......

the heart feels, the mind speaks

2010-02-17T15:58:00.006+08:00

just when im starting to pick myself up and start a new journey. i get kicked and smacked back down. and every time it gets harder and harder to get up again.

i try so hard to please everyone but all i get in return is disappointment after disappointment. could it be that im not trying hard enough??

my only ally, my only support, my only voice has now abandoned me.

that's where u are wrong. you are not the one who is/being/was hated.

i am not angry for one stupid reason. i am angry for many reasons throughout the years.

however hard i try, i am always blamed for.

there is no point being subtle to take care of people's feelings when other people choose to be blunt and not bother about yours.

try always being victimized and tell me how u feel.

i dont understand why one by one people are set to destroy me. have i not been nice to each and everyone of u?

the innocent always get wrongly convicted and the crook gets to laugh out loud and be free.

you cant change a tiger into a cat. not literally.

if i've broken your heart, im just merely saving u from regrets. or so i hope.

His 27th

2010-02-10T13:00:00.007+08:00

No surprises this year. No planned dinners. No surprise parties. No special gifts.

Oh dear, i feel like a horrible girlfriend considering his other two 'brothers' received extraordinary surprises from their respective girlfriends. They went all out and set the bar really high. Now im stressed out coz i didnt. Oh no.

But then again, should i? I have after all planned and did quite a handful of surprises for him. I shouldnt feel pressured. I dont have to follow in the footsteps. I am me and i'll do things my way, at my own time and expense. (trying very hard to make myself feel better) Hehe.

Anyways, this year i decided i'll have a quiet celebration for his birthday. Just him & me. But it wasnt actually quiet in the end, since its a must for them brothers to celebrate together. N so i gave in.

Friday 05.02.10
His birthday started with a pre-celebration of the most expensive Flaming Lamborghini ever in Skybar!!! Total rip off. They must have had a Lamborghini deliver the shot for that price. We were there for another friend's birthday and i thought i'd squeeze it in for him assuming it shouldnt be so much of a difference from an average price. Wrong. Guess how much it costs? RM120!!! Crazy.

Saturday 06.02.10
We had a 2 hour spa at Khareyana Spa. Nice. But not as nice as Cape Sienna. (oooohh Cape Sienna, i shall go there again and stay in the villa this time. hehe) Full body Balinese massage, Javanese lulur scrub, body mask and lastly shower and moisturize. A good time to de-stress. The place is nice enough, staffs are friendly and prices are reasonable. Plus point, location was good for me since im bad with roads and i'll always avoid going places im not familiar for fear of getting lost. haha.

Dinner at Tamarind Hill. Thai & Burmese cuisine. It was our first time there. We've been to the sister restaurant Tamarind Springs and food was good. Although, the waiting time was long maybe because the restaurant was packed considering it is in the city. Initially i wanted to bring him to NEO luxe lounge and have global tapas. Then i realized we might still be hungry if we just had tapas for din dins. So i decided not to. We ordered a platter, chicken & basil with century egg, stir-fried asparagus, duck and crabmeat soup and chili & roasted rice fried rice. Yum yum.

After dinner, of we went to celebrate with his friends in Bar Mitzvah and Wabisabi. As usual (like all other birthdays amongst them) it was a night of booze. It was a get-the-birthday-boy drunk night. It was a drink-whatever-concoction u can night. N oh boy was it crazy. I dont understand why they like to do that to each other and yet dread when their time comes. Funny. N the entertaining part will always be seeing the effects. The fighters, the emos, the egos, the loud ones, the broken records, the quiet ones coming out of their shells. Hehe. Bad bad alcohol.

Sunday 07.02.10 (the REAL day)
Chillout day. Sleep in. Pizza for lunch and tiramisu cake. I had my girl's day out. He had his badminton workout. Then life was back to normal.

a brand new day

2010-02-05T13:34:00.000+08:00

there is only so much i can do
enough of the dwelling
give up the fight
when its worth no more
just stop and move on
and start anew......
its a brand new day
with this thing called life

been occupying myself with birthdays and weddings.
another 2 birthdays this month and a wedding next.
wow. so much spending .

the fun part, i get to play dress up again.
pretty frocks, beautiful faces.
candid shots and wonderful pictures.

a gals day out is finally arranged. yipee!
gossips and catch ups is a must.
with good food and great company.
cant wait.

babyface serenades.
crooning his love tunes.
i shall listen and swoon.
will you join me?

marriage

2010-02-01T13:01:00.001+08:00

*sighs* where do i start. im no love guru neither have i any experience at being married. no no im not married or anywhere near to getting married. dont worry. just random rants from my observations.

Women get married expecting the men to change. Men get married expecting the women not change. Sounds familiar? Yes many of us have heard this famous phrase before. It never fails to prove in many marriages. Yet it doesnt stop us from wanting to or jumping into the marriage bandwagon.

So how do we solve this? After much thought, i came to a conclusion that there is no solution ...... if we are to be fair and equal. Nope no way. In this dilemma, it is a win-lose situation. It has to be. Not win-win nor lose-lose. Either one of the partner just has to give in.

Solution: win-lose
Man changes alongside the woman or woman stays the same alongside the man.

Best win-lose solution: Man changes alongside the woman.

Ok before you call me bias or pro-female. Just hear me out on this.

You see, if a man changes after marriage, odds are the marriage will last. Why? Because inevitably the woman will (unknowingly and naturally) change after getting married. If neither one changes, then the marriage is no different than being in a relationship. Each partner with their own lives and priorities and no one gives in. And so, no sacrifices, no commitment and hence easier to quit.

Marriage itself is a change. You are no longer selfish. You have a bond, a commitment. It changes you. N you cant expect to stay the same and live the same way for the rest of your life. You have made the step towards sharing your life with another. And so you cant be selfish.

Its like growing up. You cant forever be a kid. You cant forever do silly things and expect people to excuse you. Eventually you become wiser and mature and thus people expect you to act in a certain way and be responsible for certain things.

Same goes for marriage. You are expected to be and act in a certain way as well, as a husband, a father and the family matriarch. And so its impossible not to change and thats why women expect men to do so.

Why do women change then? Well, it is how nature made them. They are caregivers. N because they care for their husband and children, naturally they change and become self-sacrificing. Now, im not saying all men are like this and all women are like that. But sadly if you look around you, most of them are.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to compromise. Because you agreed to spend the rest of your lives together, hence you must always have an understanding of doing so. To give and take. To be fair. Never should it be one-sided decisions. This way, u'll always be able to make it work.

Signed,
Dr. Phil for a day.

jaded

2010-01-26T17:31:00.004+08:00

i do wish that i would blog happy interesting things more often. but instead i notice a lot of my ramblings are of frustrations and upsets.

could it be that these issues are outweighing the other and hence the result?

current mood:
tired drained exhausted sadden upset angry
pitiful sympathetic betrayed disbelief
hopeless surrender overwhelmed
annoyed broken depressed
done

right now im feeling so much emotion that its really tiring me out. its really making me feel exhausted.
i just want out.

heartache

2010-01-22T22:51:00.006+08:00

at just 6 months, my precious ride has gotten into 2 mishaps, 3 months apart and the exact same pattern. how unlucky can i get. an absent minded driver reverses with full force and unknowingly bangs into me. i as the receiver in full shock and panic just managed to freeze in disbelief. on the first mishap i managed to honk the car will all of my might which apparently left the driver unfazed. the second, after learning the horn doesnt necessary give any effects, tried reversing but the guy beat me to it.

although in both events, none was my fault and technically i dont or shouldnt be paying for any repair works, i just dislike the process of getting things done. first of all, the hassle of doing the police report and claiming the insurance. which in both cases, neither one of them demanded for it which in a way is good provided they know they are wrong and are willing to pay for me. not that i dont feel bad that they will have to pay for themselves too. anyways, the damage can be considered too minor to bother going through the hassle at the police station and with the insurance provider.

i remember the last accident two years ago. the whole process involves a lot of waiting. n waiting i must say is one of my pet peeves, although im not always miss punctual either (turns red). lucky back then, i wasnt working 8-5 and had reasonably huge amounts of free time in my hands. anyways, after the 'bang' i reluctantly drove myself to the police station, waited for my turn, did the report, waited for the report to be printed out, waited for the photo taking to claim for insurance, waited again for the report to get approved and waited again for everything to get the green light before i could proceed to the next step which was actually sending the car to get fixed. n there's waiting for the car to be done followed by the insurance claim which take ages and the constant harassment by the then victim. oh n not to forget, the unethical flirting by the police man. eww.

so here i am back to the same hassle full scenario minus the police reporting and insurance claiming process. this time is the process of looking for a workshop and actually finding time to go to one. i am contemplating on sending to Honda itself and get original parts and pay more or any workshop that does a good job and pay less. well the thing is, i dont have to pay but if it gets too expensive, im at risk of the guilty not wanting to pay me either. get it? so its not an easy decision.

then there's waiting for the car to get done which in the meantime means im handicapped and so comes another problem of trying to find my way to work. not to forget the part where i have to harass the guilty to pay or i'll be the losing end. and actually having to negotiate with them. which i really do not like and being me tends to give in too quickly or easily. aarrghhh. why oh why.

gone were the days when all i needed to do was let my father know and the rest was history. the next thing i know, the car is ready and good to go. spoiled u might say. yeah maybe, but why not. i am after all living under their roof at the time. now, i get everything done on my own, well almost everything. whenever i can i try to do it myself. but sometimes its nice to have someone to do it for you. although you can actually do it yourself. no matter how independent one is, it is still nice to be able to depend on someone else from time to time.

i need a husband. why? so that when something like this happens, i just need to let my husband know and he'll step in and handles the rest. (well ideally it should be that way). call me old fashion or wishful thinking. but thats what i grew up with. thats what my father does for my mom and us. and im pretty sure many families are so, especially the older generations where the women are perceived naive and hopeless.

as capable and independent i happen to be, i would still like to be the damsel in distress with my knight in shining armor.

2010

2010-01-09T13:58:00.004+08:00

Firstly,

Happy New Year everyone. Yet another year has gone and a new one begins.

And as always new resolutions are made. Mine is no different each year i think. Yet i still feel that i have not been good at achieving it. Slowly but surely, i hope. Here's my 2010 list:

To be less of a procrastinator and get things done and achieve goals.
To be more positive and believe in myself and my dreams.
To not be lazy and whine all the time.
Depend less on other people and be more hardworking.
To save more and plan better.
To take care of my health and be more active.
Socialize more or better in that sense.
To not overwork myself and spend less time in the office.
To be bold and stand my grounds.
Give more expect less.

At the end of it all, it's basically to be a better person. I do hope as i grow older and maybe wiser, i am able to make the right decisions and be more selfless. I am not sure how i fair right now but i do think im on the right road of getting there. Guidance and knowledge i feel, always helps.

The start of 2010:
It didnt actually feel like the year has begun.The night before was like any other night. Get off from work, have dinner and off back home. Struck midnight, happy new year and off i went to lala land. Am i getting that boring and reclusive or dont i have any friends out there. Sometimes i do wonder where they have gone. Or have i been abandoning my social life.

The ups.
I went to the Ne-yo concert and he was amazing. Not to say im a fanatic fan or some sort, i just needed a break in my mundane life and let go a little. An improvement since the start of this year. Socialize more remember? I have been staying in too much and its slowly eating me up. Ive become less enthusiastic and more grumpy. Not good. Really bad for my well being.

Another up would be the upcoming birthdays in store these few weeks. Cant wait for them. Especially if i get to be involved in the planning or surprises or even just picking out presents. Love the fun of picking out meaningful items and seeing the joy of the person receiving it when they open it. Such bliss.
This up im not too sure when it will be but i hope it will. Although with some complications. Sis plans to come for a visit and shopping i guess. Looking forward to that. Especially to see little aidan who's all grown and naughty. Will be waiting to hear his new vocabs and gibberish words.That cute little boy of mine. Well not literally.

The downs:
Phew. What a year to start with. Just short of two weeks and the year has started with upsetting and unfortunate events.

Stupid, idiotic, irrational being creating issues and unrest. I dont want to say much here or i'll be a subject of probing. Nonetheless, i just cant understand why people have to resort to violence and hatred when dealing with issues. Cant they be more matured and wiser to deal with things intelligently and not mindlessly. Are you really uneducated enough to think rationally? Or if you are, have you ever thought of others than yourselves only?? It doesnt take a religion to tell you not to be violent. Any decent, civil person would or should be able to know and do so. What do you get our of it??? And please stop being a fanatic and have your own reasonable minds.
Fuel price to follow car make and cc? What the f....? I bet the decision makers never thought far and wide about this. Not that they have money problems to bother them. If you curb all your corruptions and unnecessary spending, im sure we will not have to resort to this kind of stupid decisions. All this stupidity, missing engines, extortion, so-called submarine investments, building this and that. And who benefits? Not us definitely. If only the people responsible could focus on the more important things that would benefit everyone and not just themselves or their immediate interests.

Im getting more and more upset every time i think about this issues and i shall stop here before i get all touchy feely. Really not worth my time and energy.

Anyways, i am hoping for better days ahead, at least for myself. I'd rather focus on saving mother nature than saving humankind who cant even save themselves. Humanity create problems and trouble. Nature just provides. And when nature wreaks havoc, its a cry to tell us to stop destroying or hurting her.

Signed,
Unhappy camper.

hand in hand

2009-08-29T10:32:00.007+08:00

mood: in awe
location: office desk

last two days.....
we have been hand in hand for 2 years 2 months 2 weeks n 2 days.
fascinating isnt it?
mr. S,
lets work towards the next year mark shall we.

on a different note, i am busy baking lately. raya is coming up and its busy busy busy. mz fashionista and i are busy planning for our launching too. what u may ask? well just wait for the launch.....hehe. this will be our first project. our baby.

not to forget, mz. full-of-surprise wedding is coming soon. n another project along the way. busy busy busy. im really excited to be doing the project though. will reveal it once the whole thing is over. dont want to spoil the surprise do we.

with this baby under our belt, it will be a step closer to our dreams i hope.

motto of the moment: one day! one day!

pity

2009-08-24T12:46:00.004+08:00

im pretty sure im not drowning in self pity for my own actions. in fact i pity myself for being the victim. n the problem is, those who are suppose to act upon it doesnt while the ones that i turn to for a shoulder to cry on, an ear to whine and an advice for lifting my spirits up are telling me to do something.

do something. what can i do? im already the victim. now i have to be the bad person too?? im already labeled selfish. inconsiderate. stubborn. what else havent i been. but if i was really that person, i think i would have declared a world war 3 for all i care. but i didnt. why? because i do care. i am NOT selfish. i am NOT inconsiderate. yet, no one seems to see that.

drop it. let it be in the pass. forgive n forget. thats easy to say off course. once, sure. twice, maybe. but what do you do when it gets out of hand. when its happening more than once? how can you forgive let alone forget when evidently, that person just doesnt like your existance.

i have been patient. i have been nice. i have been nothing but tolerable. what do i get in return. i understand the dilemma. im in it as well. as much as i hate it, i cant let as if it never happened.

why do ppl put me in this kind of mess? some cousin dispute ago, i was the victim but instead i was potrayed the meanie (how some ppl are just so capable of manipulating others) and now this. what did i ever do to any of u to deserve all this?

now, it clearly explains why i am a loner. i'd rather keep to myself and live my own life than be out there and get targeted for no apparent reason. maybe if something were to really happen to me, something will be done. but as for now, nothing is that important.

at the end of the day, dont blame me for something i didnt do. i never forced anyone to do anything. if more so, otherwise.

i am just so angry, sad, disappointed and hurt.

pinwheels

2009-08-08T10:15:00.020+08:00

ok ok..........i've delayed my blogging way too long. i think no one wants to read my blog anymore seen the fact that it was inactive for FAR TOO long. booie!

n worst, because i have not been writing..........i am actually having a 'writer's block' not that i am a good writer anyway.

anyways, here are some pictures.

Dinner with the girls. Mz Fashionista's birthday.

Dinner with Mr. Pilot at Bora Asmara.
2 years baby!

The food was i would say alright, but the deco and ambience was quite nice actually. Balinese inspired. Its a sister company of Bora Ombak.

Another dinner for the double celebration was at Vincenzo Ristorante Italiano in Bangsar. Sadly, no pictures to show. :(
Bought Mr. Pilot a FCUK watch. Love the casing it came in.

In July, there were two births as well. Bestie gave birth to a healthy baby boy on 11.07.09 and Ms. Z gave birth to also a healthy baby boy. Its baby boy season this year i think. Im awaiting another birth from Ms. B somewhere in Aug. Wow, im going to be broke!

Another eventful ceremony was the engagement of Ms. Full-of-surprise to longtime boyfriend Mr. Superstar on the 1st August. Though it was only a family affair, i am happy for them both as they are both my dear friends ive known since MATRIX. Wedding is up in October and i will be the 'pengapit' n it scares the s*** out of me. I dont like being in the spotlight although not literally but even at the side. I get really nervous. I do hope it will all be quick so before i know it, its over.....hehehe.......But missy, i am truly honoured to be your 'pengapit' k, dont get me wrong. Now im really worried, coz i still havent found any outfit yet. N time is ticking. Woo boy!
Ms. Full-of-surprise & Mr. Superstar

Im also on this new Project with Mz Fashionista. Anyone insterested for a gift wrapping, gift boxes/hampers and personalized gifts please feel free to drop us a msg with your phone number. ;) We will come up with pictures for better views on how they look like. Stay tuned!

p/s: Pictures are taken by phone hence the quality. N multiple phones, hence the quantity. Will try upload more when i get my hands on it. *wink*

p/p/s: dd aku curik gambar kat blog kau.......ehehe....sorry ye

backdated

2009-07-09T16:28:00.002+08:00

oh dear........it's been a REALLY loooooong time since ive updated. ive even got drafts waiting to be published. so many events have happened and will be happening and im a month behind my updates. yikes!! i really have to re-organize myself.
n oh.......need to get a new lappie!

2 in 1

2009-06-11T18:57:00.003+08:00

this year's anniv was a double celebration. one, to celebrate 2 years worth of memories and two, to celebrate mr. pilot's becoming, officially. so so happy.

hunger

2009-05-30T23:38:00.007+08:00

the other day a colleague of mine emailed a video of a true story. she told me it was a good watch. so i did. right after watching the video, i scolded her (in a nice way) for emailing me such things. if u know me well, im not the kind of person u'd want to let watch those kind of things.

im a crybaby. n i cry at the slightest thing that saddens me. ask sam. he witnessed a lot of it. n so i tried really hard to hold it in thinking what my boss would think if he saw me crying ....... 'silly girl, get a grip' was all i could think of.

so when i came home that night, i asked sam to watch it. n this time, i couldnt hold it in n i cried. eventhough i wasnt watching but i just couldnt get the picture out of my mind and it really saddens me.

before u watch what the video is all about, here's my take on it.

it made me realize how lucky i am and i thank god i am that blessed. it made me thank my parents for bringing me up well and teaching me to appreciate and not waste. it justifies my action of not wasting my food and finishing every last bit until i really cant eat anymore.

but.......

it also makes me sad how some ppl are suffering and living an unfortunate life yet there are those who spent their money unnecessarily and flaunting it. it makes me sad how the poor are really poor but they feel blessed and how the rich are even richer yet they still dont feel its enough. it makes me sad how ppl waste their food when there are millions in the world who dont even have enough to eat.

i wish i could do something to make a difference. i wish i have the fund of oprah n i'll launch a mission to help the poor, trotting from country to country like the missionaries. wishful thinking. sometimes i feel, the world is getting more n more selfish. kids are getting spoilt and fewer have any compassion or empathy towards others.

i strongly feel that kids in school should be exposed to all these unfortunate situations around the world so that they will learn at a young age to appreciate everything, material or not. so that they will feel compassion. so that they will learn to give more and expect less.

n now, here's the video.......

prayers

2009-05-06T17:47:00.004+08:00

a tornado swept over my once peaceful mind.......

aidan : get well soon ok. must not be sick tough boy. aunty nat loves u so much. grow up a good boy just like ur mama.

dad : dont be sad. ur daughters and grandson will be ok. part n parcel of life right?

sis : be strong. i know its not easy but u'll always have our support. i do not wish anything bad upon u. i love u.

as for me, i have to stand my ground. im not to be made a joke. im sorry, but im trying hard to be fair as well.

newbie on the block

2009-04-22T18:57:00.004+08:00

ive got a new pet. well actually not a but two new turtles. i wasnt so sure of getting them at first. but when hubby n i saw them confined in a teenie tiny place, we felt really sorry for them and decided to adopt two. just two. that is all we can do. i cant be adopting all of them. i'll have to start a turtle sanctuary if i do.

happily settling down with my new pets we made them some nice pond like home. then we googled. in hopes of learning more about taking care of them n how their characteristics are. the thing about me is that i like my pets small and cute. if i had my way, i'd never want them to grow up. they are much easier to carry around and pat when they're small. dont get me wrong, i wont hate them once they're big. geesh. but i really did not see it coming when i learnt from googling that turtles like mine could grow up to 30 cm!!! where am i gonna put them??

now, ive heard how my friends used to rear some and how it grows and stinks and how one kept hers in her toilet n all that. after weighing my options, i plan to move them to a garden with pond wherever that may be when they do grow up. i hope i am able to cause i dont think i'll have a place big enough for them in my condo.

anyways more about them. bella and rafael. rafael is a little smaller than bella but arent the female animals usually more dominant, so i guess the size is just right with bella being a little larger. hehe. however, bella is so quite and shy and maybe boring. all she does is sleep and bury herself. while rafael just wants to come out and play. such opposites. i do hope they get along after spending much time just the two of them away from the clan.

onto another, ive got another new 'baby'. that i will love, treasure and care for with all my heart. im super happy and grateful to be given the chance. love love love love love. wait for the reveal soon!!!

its a material world

2009-04-06T22:58:00.003+08:00

there are always plenty of ideas on how life should be. what we should make of ourselves. what we should aim to reach for. the goals, the ambition, the dreams.

but truth be told, we often set goals that we could hardly reach for. n one thing i know from my tremendous amount of thinking and observing. no one and i mean no ONE can ever make it......alone, all by themselves, without support. directly or indirectly.

how i wish i have the money and support to start something i know i would be good at because i enjoy it. *sigh*

nine to five

2009-03-09T00:35:00.003+08:00

well nine to six to be exact plus lunch hour i suppose. but i know there's no such thing as 9 hours flat. im quite prepared for the overtime. 5 1/2 days a week. quite a normal office hour job id say.

after a long hiatus, i am back in the working world. oh actually will be back. i start tuesday. yeay for finally getting myself a job. i need moolah. but ermmm im kinda rusty n i really dont know what to expect. what i know is that i will be occupied and am actually looking forward to it.

u see, being jobless is no fun. in the beginning maybe but after a few months....it gets quite dull. especially if ure running out of savings. erk. job hunting is no fun as well, its tiring and demotivating. one interview after the other n no luck.

so to actually get a job after all that, im just excited. no more searching n moping around the house. no more ppl thinking how useless u are n how u're wasting money n all that stuff. i can safely say that i am independent all round. i do hope i enjoy my job now that i have one though.

but im in a dilemma.

here's the deal. after going through numerous interviews, i finally secured myself a job. someone finally saw something in me. i was happy and relieved. then, i received an email from Telenor. i've made it to their next process of the program. some online tests later, i was shortlisted for the final test before an interview with Digi. if all goes well n i am picked, i might be on my way to their Graduate Trainee Program which would require me to go overseas. sounds like a good deal yeah?

so now what should i do?

rumble tumble

2009-03-05T19:27:00.002+08:00

i have quite a few rough months ahead.
a real challenge for the weak
even the strong.
but im burying myself with things
to keep me busy.

i know its a trying time.
i have to be patient, i have to be sensitive.
tired, exhausted, drained n stressed
are just one of the many things
i know he will face.

im hoping for good news.
miss D told me my luck will come soon
i hope this is true.
then maybe, the ride will be smoother.

when u have to much time on ur hands
ur mind goes on overdrive.
plays tricks n fools u.
what do u do?

he would say, stop
take a breath
n focus on the positive.

thanks dear.

just for laughs

2009-02-21T15:07:00.004+08:00

One fine afternoon, excited and eager to try the wii.

Presenting: amateurs

timeless

2009-02-17T19:05:00.003+08:00

mood: turmoil
location: cramped in the study

I'm not feeling too good lately. Mood swings worst than the unpredictable weather we have in kl now. Maybe its the PMS-ing screwing up with me.

All of a sudden, i feel that time is not being used as it should. I feel like the time that i had has been taken away from me and suddenly i feel boxed. I used to have so much yet i threw it away unknowingly. Now I'm actually desperate for more.

Could i be selfish then? Always thinking and planning my day away, yet i still get stuck with this battle with time. It will never end would it?

Ive managed to minimize my procrastinating attitude. I actually got things done today. On my own without having to depend on anyone. I know i can n i realized i should. N so i did. As a matter of fact, I have been independent all the while and getting things done without help. So why cant i do it now right?

Maybe because I'm a lady and i want to be spoilt. A damsel in distress. No matter how strong n independent i can be, i just want to be naive at times.

Complains, complains............ how much more gloomy can i get. Why am i so pessimistic?

Let's restart with a brighter spirit shall we.

A lot of things has happened lately. Little changes here and there with family, friends, life n the world. (note to self: focus on the good things)

Little Aidan is not a baby anymore, he's grown and learning to crawl now. Soon he'll start walking and the next time i see him, he's probably running around for me to catch him. How adorable. i had a chance to babysit little Aidan for a week recently. And I'm happy to do so with no complains. It even beats going out shopping, hence the staying at home all week. I miss him a lot.

My friends have gone through changes as well. Break-ups, knock-ups and head-ons. All in the name of growing up, maturing and living life. But whatever anyone is going through, real friends always stick around. *wink*

The world is twisted. People are twisted. I am twisted. Not because i want to be but the circumstances that are brought to me. I just have to be brave and have faith. I see a better progress in me now. Slowly taking matters in my own hands. Building up my courage to just do and keep doing. I hope it will all fall into place someday.

I miss my carefree days!! Late nights, splurging, good food. *sigh*

knot in my hair

2009-02-03T20:57:00.006+08:00

mood: irritated

im having a car dilemma. its so hard to seal a deal when u're the middle person. gotta find the right car dealer. view for the best deals. figure out how to seal the deal. documentations, approvals, signatures. all between east and west malaysia. how do u do that?

the car itself is not helping either. deteriorating by the day. not to mention the decreasing price. heart breaking if u knew how much it was bought for. urrghh. in the midst of all that, i have another car worry on my hand. yet more stash of cash gone just to handle that one. n its not even mine!

soon i'll be penniless n depending on public transport if things dont get any better. i need a job now! n i mean right away. why is it so hard for someone to hire me. am i that incompatible. do i look like a bimbo to u? geesh. i cant help it that i suck at interviews, i dont ace it like others do ok. but i can assure u, i am good at what i do, given the chance dammit.

before u start telling me- maybe u're choosy n bla bla bla. here's what. i am not. i have applied for jobs not even related to my qualifications but yet......i dont know. whatever. sick sick sick. maybe its just the economic turmoil. stupid recession stuff.

i bet since im not working, everyone thinks im a bum wasting my parents money. the money doesnt go anywhere near waste i tell u. shopping is unheard of since i went on the dole. luxury eating n all that stuff i used to do is once in not a blue but sparkling red moon! where does it go? here's where-bills,car problems, grocery, bills, petrol, household, bills, everyday stuff in order to live, bills n more bills. it doesnt help that im also too generous at giving. bad habit!

n for that, i need to be realistic. the previous jobs that i have been applying for but still havent got is not enough to live on. n this is not base on a comfortable or luxury living. not here in kl. maybe back home, yeah. i need to change my path although it might not be what i had chosen earlier but it may be more promising. i must be able to support myself somehow.

bottom line is, someone should have told me a long long time ago that pilots make 7thousand minimum at start!!!! i would have become one straightaway. now dont get me wrong, im not greedy, its just that it will make life a hell lot easier. imagine the giving i could do with that. im a giver. yep. that's my downfall.

current vs upcoming

2009-02-01T01:23:00.002+08:00

Nadal won after 5 sets! Yeay! He's not called world's No.1 for nothing aint it. And he still has a long way to go. Gosh the guy is 5 years younger than me man and he's making millions already.

The hubby must be really disappointed on this one. He's a federer fan. Well, normally im not really one who keeps up with tennis. But this match was too big to pass. And it was a good one i must say.

Although, federer wasnt playing as well as he could have and nadal must have been worned out after the 5 hour match the day before. But there were still moments of awe. Im sure if both of them had been in their best shape/play, it would have been more 'kan cheong'.

blank canvas

2009-01-24T23:58:00.003+08:00

u do not know
the amount of worry
i have right now
each n everyday
bombarding me profusely

times like these
patience IS virtue
hope is in abundance
and effort flows like the river

i may seem carefree
as if dreaming maybe
wasting every minute away

that is not the case
i am doing what i can
at the pace that i am capable of
slowly putting it all in place

food, friends & dramas

2009-01-02T20:55:00.015+08:00

Oh wow, its 2009 already?! How time flies.

Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about all the new year resolutions stuff (u do it every year) n recap of the previous year (I'm in future mode, whatever in the past were said n done) which will make me dwell even more.

Anyways, a few days before 2009 was spent with food and good company. Not to forget the added drama. I had a mini dinner party at my humble abode and invited a few close friends to share the evening. It was nice and fun however, pretty sad that some couldn't make it. Well as long as i did my part, I'm good with that.

As always, i would be more than happy to be cooking for ppl n so that's what i did.....again! 1) It's kinda expected of me. 2) I truly enjoy doing so. This time around the menu wasn't too complicated and it took me less time to prepare. Also, it was kinda last minute...hehe. There were no present exchange as well but everyone got to go home with a choc-mint candy cane (if they didn't forget to take it that is, which most of them did). I know, no big deal.

Dinner was supposed to be at 830 but guess what time it started. 10. Yup, thanks to some wonderful time management and punctuality hiccup from my guests. *wink* *wink*. Oh no worries, the early birds get to savour the best parts for that. Hehe.

Throughout the night, everything were initially very calm. Until........

Drama No.1:
A martini glass filled with gooey desert fell and broke. Hence the party had to halt for the cleaning crew (me, the hubby, may and few extras) to carefully clean (sweep, wipe, vacuum) all the glass pieces and gooey stuff of the floor.
Rating: 2/10 - just the cleaning up

.....then things resumed........and suddenly

Drama No.2:
Two friends who came late accidentally caused a commotion with my super-hot-tempered-foul-mouthed neighbour whom i've never seen in my 6 years of staying there and who does not b****y have any respect for females. Yup, that's my view on him after that incident. In fact, super is still mild for how he reacted that night. Although the misunderstanding were settled after that, i still think that that is not the way to talk to anyone for that matter. Angry or not. Its not in my nature to be vulgar and so i couldn't tolerate that.
Rating: 8/10 - the inappropriate shouting and finger pointing (at me!) without knowing the truth behind it. real stupid idiotic man. I would have given it a 10 if i had shouted back at him. O0-ek.

After the whole drama thing, we just sat around and played games, finishing up the food in the process. What a night!

some home made cookies

the hubby, benny & collin

may & me

the hubby & me

ceasar salad

aglio olio

roast lamb

roast chicken

courgette toasties

crabstick sushi

fruit trifle

after a long night

p/s: Have a blessed new year everyone. Hope this year is better than the previous. Cheers!

a night of play

2008-12-20T15:33:00.004+08:00

"the seven deadly scenes"

-a funny kind of weird-

date: 19.12.08
venue: klpac

tick tock

2008-12-17T15:50:00.003+08:00

oh dear... another year gone in a flash.
time is passing by a little too fast for my liking.
i still feel that there is so much to do n so many more to fulfill at this moment.
n with time passing by every minute, it kinda adds up n before i know it.
nothing is done.
*sigh*

failure & happiness

2008-12-02T23:36:00.007+08:00

although i have achieved quite a lot in my 26 yrs of life, at the end of the day i still feel that im a failure. that it is still not enough n that there is so much more i could do or prove. im not sure if im in a battle with myself or with the ppl around me. is it me who's not satisfied? am i trying to prove to myself? am i letting myself down? am i letting myself feel like a failure? or is it all about trying to please ppl. trying to do what they think is right for u. trying to prove them wrong?

i know the part of me whom is rebellious, delinquent n many times indecisive. i wont listen, do the exact opposite n jump from one decision to another. all in the name of proving a point n telling ppl otherwise. i am a non-conformist n i refuse to be normal n boring. i refuse to be common. i want ppl to see me as my own self n not what ppl want me to be. i dont want to be a product of a desired mould. i want to be able to live life, embrace life, appreciate it n take it all in with strength n courage, always smiling at the end of the day.

i remember when i was young, all i ever wanted was happiness. every birthday wish is a wish for happiness. have i found it? i dont know. but i do know that i am trying my best to feel it. i guess happiness is not a one off thing. it is ongoing n everlasting if u keep it but getting it once doesnt mean it will last forever. i still have to work for it every day. ppl tend to take it for granted sometimes. from experience, happiness just doesnt come knocking at ur door, it comes when u seek for it with a good heart.

happiness itself is hard to measure, hard to explain. what makes us happy? the small stuffs, the big stuff, the everyday stuff? money, material things, worldly possessions? or relationships, love n acceptance? its different for everyone. only u know what happiness is to urself.

'Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.' -dorothy thompson

'Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars.' -henry van dyke

'We are always getting ready to live but never living.' -ralph waldo emerson

out of the blue

2008-11-30T02:05:00.005+08:00

mood: lazy

i was about to blog on my bangkok trip
then i got lazy
just couldnt bring myself to wait for the photos to upload if i do
so there goes my mission

feeling really random right now
so im gonna be talking random stuff here

random #1

i dont really feel like doing anything
yet my mind is telling me otherwise
'get up. go out. see the sunshine'
yup, i have been hibernating lately
i need to go out MORE

random #2

my badminton workout is clearly not enough
im still not toned
not really focused on losing the weight
but definitely should get rid of the flabs
i have to find other ways of doing this
maybe control my portions
start swimming, go jogging
oh maybe just maybe i should join a dance class
its that or be a clubbing junkie

random #3

i want to be pampered
no i dont expect food on the table, pressed laundry n squeaky clean house
i just want someone to fuss over me
take me out, drive me around
lend me a hand
on the other hand, a spa treat would be great
brat

random #4

im going back home for the raya haji hols
just a short one
looking forward to the family gath
its been awhile since i went for one
cant wait to eat the food too
hmmm....missing my little cranky poo n his mama

random #5

xmas is up the corner
i am still thinking if i should have an xmas do
or just go out for other xmas dos
i thought id wanna roast some turkey this time
n make xmas cookies n puddings
mmm.....the joy of cooking for others
my personal therapy other than retail

ok its all out of my system. feels better now.

phuket escapade

2008-11-15T16:31:00.051+08:00

Finally, i have the time to update on my trip to thailand with the hubby. After about a month. Not to say that i was extremely busy but i was busy. Dont really know what was making me busy. I guess i just had things to do here n there every now n then.

Phuket was amazing. The beach, the nightlife n the food, cheap n delicious. Oh where do i start. We stayed in wonderful places, ate yummy food and did some funny things. Here is our journey.

DAY 1
Arrived at Phuket Airport, cleared through and took a taxi to our first hotel in Karon beach. Baan Karonburi Resort is located directly facing Karon beach. It is right next to Woraburi Resort (another lovely hotel, this one has pool access rooms but a little pricier) and Karon Princess.
We booked the room through latestays.com and got a good deal. The full rate per night for a superior room is RM 400 but since it was the low season, we got it for RM 95, inclusive of breakfast. The room is pretty big, air-conditioned, tv and bathtub as well as a safe (we notice that all the rooms we stayed so far has a safe though, maybe losing ur belongings is quite common here). Not to forget, a balcony with a partial view of the ocean, depending on ur room level.

After checking in n settling down, we decided to go for a walk around karon n kick off our exploration. First stop was an indoor market selling clothes, bags and souvenirs located a minute walk from our hotel. The market opens till night n so its advisable to go in the evening where it's less stuffy and hot. I could barely survive the humidity in the enclosed area n so we just dashed through the market.

Then, we walked our hungry selves to a nearby restaurant and had a lunch of pad thai noodles and yellow noodles with gravy. Nice and tasty. One thing i notice is that thai food is very very flavourful. Not stingy with salt or chillies. What is obvious is that fish sauce is used in everything, even as condiments.
Full and sleepy, we went back to our room and recharged. Clad in our swimwear, we swam n chilled at karon beach. Karon beach is quieter than patong. Its not busy and there's no water activities going on. Hence, u get privacy and space. Do what u want, when u want n how u want to.

Come night, we had our dinner at one of the thai restaurants at the smaller street lanes in karon. Since we were in thailand, we thought it's only wise to eat as much thai food as possible (considering it is cheap n it should be authentic). N so we had, a meal of green curry, thai crab cakes n mix vegetables. Yummy.

DAY 2
Started out with our breakfast with a magnificent view of the sea from the coffee house. Went for a quick swim at the pool. Checked out n moved on to our next hotel. At the rate we were going, we could be 'the smiths' guide to hotels' (a.k.a travel & living) if u know what i mean.

Next hotel, which isnt very far from the first (located around the karon roundabout) is Sugar Palm Karon Resort. A new boutique hotel chain. Its very modern n new, hence clean n still cheap. Hehe. We booked our room from www.agoda.com because it was giving us better rates than the other website. Actually, it was giving us a really good offer for a deluxe pool access room. We paid RM 130 from its full rate of RM 3++. Again, this is also due to the low season offers i suppose. Bottom line, i love this hotel. Quite the privacy. The only thing was that it wasnt directly on karon beach, but only less than 5 minutes walk anyway.

Today, we decided to have a bit of an adventure. It was a choice of either bungee jumping or shooting range. In the end, due to circumstances (hubby being afraid of heights), we opt for the shooting range. Also, guys being guys, the idea of holding a gun n shooting real bullets seems more appealing. Well, i kinda wanted to shoot some too!

So we had a quick lunch of seafood fried rice at a nearby hawker stall, jumped on the tuk-tuk n headed for Phuket Shooting Range, located at Kata beach. There are a few shooting ranges around here, at different pricing. We did a little research before going n asked the taxi drivers, so we found a good, cheaper one. Bottom line, do ur homework or risk trying. Hehe.

It was an experience. Although we went for a safer option (the .22 mm rifle), i had fun as this was my first time holding a real gun. All the counter-strike gaming cant beat this one. Would have been better if i went for the .9 mm handgun though. Superb. Anyways, guess what, i did better than hubby. Hehe. I actually shot a bulls eye. Not bad for my 18/20 vision. :P

That night, we decided to take ourselves to patong beach n explore bangla road before actually moving there the next day. To our luck, mother nature decided that she will shower phuket will a little love since it has been really hot for the past two days. So in all her glory, i had to brave through the sudden outburst in a hideous outfit, cutting our adventure short to a wet stroll n a cosy dinner.

Dinner was delicious though. The restaurant was called 'Eurasian Restaurant'. Bias, i know. N they were indeed. In the restaurant, they had a free salad counter, which apparently is only for Eurasians. So if it wasnt for the good food, i would definitely not have eaten there. How discriminating is that, right. N then there you'll see all these old mat salleh guys with their thai arm candy (not so candy after all) eating there n being treated like big shots .... because ...... wait for it ...... they are considered EURASIAN. They dont even know what Eurasian means by the looks of it. Pfft!

DAY 3 & 4

Arrived in patong beach! Our 3rd accommodation is the Bel Aire Resort situated here :

We decided we wont be going to patong beach for a swim (too crowded, plus we already sunbathed ourselves in karon beach) thus it is not necessary for us to stay on Thawiwong road. Thats why we chose this place. It's quite near to bangla road n rat-u-thit road (where all the action happens). And it is really cheap too, for RM 80 a night non-inclusive of bfst, just wait till u see the room. Its big for the price.

For the 2 days that we were here, we went around checking out go-go bars, discotheques and other things we find attractive. The go-go bars basically offer the same things, naked girls dancing n extremely wierd (dare to say disgusting) shows, not for the weak-hearted. You'll have to experience it yourself to understand what my reactions were. There are subtle ones, sexy, dominatrix n just about anything (here im refering to ladyboys).

Phuket is not short of discos n clubs either. If u are willing to travel out n about to discover, u will find at least one for ur liking. I personnally (although we didnt go to many) liked CLUBLIME. The music is good but unfortunately it is not in the centre of all the hustle n bustle of patong beach. Hence, the crowd is small but ok. There is also seduction, hollywood n tiger discotheque. All for different kinds of crowds: foreigners, locals n mixtures.

Next up: bangkok

needs and wants

2008-11-08T01:30:00.005+08:00

needs: [def] something u require to ....... e.g survive

wants: [def] something u desire to ....... e.g be fulfilled

right now i need:

money
a job
own house
own car
more money to buy 3 n 4
miracles

n i want:

endless supply of money
my dream job
my dream house
my dream car
no more money worries
fulfilled life
.......who am i kidding

i think generally, everyone has more or less the same needs. well, maybe 1 2 3 n 4. but wants, each one of us has different wants. some are happy with less. some are happy with more. some though, are never happy.

in my case, off course i want this n that (who doesnt), if my world were to be perfect that is. but it's not n it doesnt have to be.

my life will be fulfilled if all the needs were met. it doesnt have to be big. it doesnt have to be the best. it doesnt have to be better than everyone else. as long as it is enough. im happy with enough money to live comfortably. happy with a decent job i enjoy. happy with a modest home n a car that serves me well.

im just happy being average.

little teddy bears

2008-11-07T00:42:00.004+08:00

currently: tired but satisfied

i finally finished baking, decorating & wrapping (with help from my sister off course) 200 pcs of mini aidan teddy bears for my nephew's aqiqah cum doa selamat cum baby shower.

the little teddies had pacifiers and diapers/bibs. just like a baby.

i hope its good. though i personally think it could have been better.

more work tomorrow.

short notice

2008-11-02T23:27:00.003+08:00

just got back from my thailand trip.
had a blast at tanning n shopping.
pictures n stories will be up soon.

right now.

onto another busy week of stuff.
lots of update to do.
been quite eventful lately.
just keep an eye for more.

n so it goes.........

off we go!!

2008-10-06T18:48:00.005+08:00

quick update

mood: trigger happy

currently prancing around the house

in a few more hours, i'd be leaving for phuket

this will be my first league of the two episode holiday *ha ha*

i need to pack n do some last minute cross-check

raya blues

2008-10-02T01:43:00.003+08:00

current worry: weight issues

it's the time of the year again where i'll be eating to my heart's content n still stuffing in more - subconsciously. after all, why would ppl nickname it 'the feasting month'? it's hard to resist. so many choices, so limited space. im in a dilemma.

on the downside though, all this feasting is affecting my self confidence - namely: my flabbiness. there goes my badminton workout. all defeated in one day. *sigh* gone were the days where i could eat anything n still not worry about the extras.

funny though how a few months back or maybe half a year ago, i was beefing myself up so that i wouldn't look so sickly. which i did (look sickly i mean. sickly[def] to look like u've only got skin n bones n maybe a little muscle but no in between fats) due to a 3 month stint in a hotel. now im trying to undo the damage. likely impossible.

warning: beefing up is WAY easier than the opposite. uurrghh! i hate workouts. *munch.munch.munch* no i love workouts. *its all in the mind. take control* no i hate workouts. *munch.munch.munch* im in denial. HELP!

fats. if only they would go to those intended spaces. if they do, i wouldn't mind beefing up as a hobby for real. *daydreaming* bigger ga doink doinks n the ooh la las! haha. i wish. instead, im getting all 'the curse of the fat' results. s@#$!!!

anyways, back to raya. every year its like a battlefield for me. not really sumthing i'd look forward to. apart from the food. haha. but the trouble n the work.......oh no no. i'd go away for a holiday if i had a choice. family intact though.

i feel like a superwoman minus the super powers. n each year, i think i managed to upgrade my superwoman will n energy to last longer than the year before n the year before that n so on. yup, just like the energizer bunny. but i dont know what MY energizer is. or do i?! *cheeky smile*

superhero powers that would really help this time around: to bend time or at least stop it, multiply/clone, speed.

im annoyed. this raya i thought i'd do myself a favour so that i could look prim n proper for once. like those made up girls i always bump into. so i went for a bit of pampering by getting my nails done. lesson: forget it. if i knew it would have gone to waste i wouldn't have gone for it in the first place. why? u ask. blame the hardcore house chores. brrrrr.

on a different note. im a crybaby. i dont really whine. i dont really complain. n i hardly argue. but i cry. a lot. n i mean a lot. if i were to tell of the things that would make me cry, i might need a post just for it. today's incident: emotional moment with my parents n sister. i tried hard to hold it in n i think it went quite well.

next up: a holiday to relief me of my superwoman duties

happy raya!

saturday night live

2008-09-23T14:32:00.017+08:00

The hubby n i decided to have a small quiet gathering of few friends at my place last saturday. We had dinner n drinks n a whole lot of 'chilling'. In between, there was the LIVERPOOL match n a few games of 'presidents & a**holes' n snakes & ladders. Not to forget, the unexpected post (leaning tower of peach) birthday cake that came later in the night.

Both sam n i picked the menu n prepared them from scratch. All of which were our first tries but it turned out DELI-CIOUS! Most of the recipe were taken from my 'party' book, which was given to me by miss D as a birthday present (babes, im putting it to good use yeah). We had a selection of crostinis, calamari, parcels, desserts and the main - roman pan fried lamb and potato gratin.

The menu

salmon crostini
avocado & ham crostini
crab parcels
prawn pinwheels
calamares
spinach& feta triangles
roman pan fried lamb
potato gratin
chocolate cupcakes
tiramisu

Mr Yip & me
Sam & Mr Yip
Blowing out my candles....gosh im old
*Cut....pose....smile*
Sam & I

The spread
Crostinis

The star of the night

Actually, this whole dinner thing was meant to be just dinner with the hubby's friends to let them have a go at my cooking. But it ended up being something bigger than that with a surprise thrown in as well. Im just glad all the food were finished n no complaints.

Sweet.

u've got mail!

2008-09-20T14:30:00.001+08:00

Something came in the mail today! Yippee! It was the 'party cakes' book that i was longing for in my past entry. N now, I've GOT it!!!! Ordered n shipped all the way from U.S courtesy of my super supportive beloved sister whom i love so so much n can never be more grateful of. I am really really happy when i got the gift (my second surprise for my birthday!!!) n couldn't stop hugging, smelling n flipping through the book over n over again.

Nut.

It was really a good start to my weekend. Now I'm inspired to create one of the lovely creations in the lovely book. I have to stop procrastinating n get more things done. Just that other responsibilities (e.g bills, car needs fixing, house needs fixing, raya shopping for me n others n etc) is taking up my time.

Made a cake for hubby's cuzzies' birthday the other day. A football field cake. Its a chocolate butter cake with buttercream icing. Could have been better if i had more time in my hands i think. Anyways, more on it in my other blog (food blog) www.dibble-dabble.blogspot.com, pics included.

give elmo a break .... please!

2008-09-11T19:31:00.003+08:00

Anyone in need of cheering up??

Give me a break, give me an elmo!

passing the mid 20's

2008-09-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Omigod!! I'm 26?? I really am 26?? Ive actually passed the quarter century mark?? Geesshh!! Feels like only yesterday that i turned 21 n independent. Well sort off. Now I'm 26 n still not independent. Although id like to think that i am, n i have been apart from the money issue. Bummer.

On a lighter note, turning 26 doesn't feel any different from the previous years anyway. I don't feel older or wiser (Maybe I'm in denial. But i kid u not, a lot of new ppl I've met thought that i was in my teens.... he he......feels nice to feel young for a second or two) but i do feel the pressure n stress because time seems to fly, faster n faster.

The real deal:

The hubby took me out for a birthday dinner at RAKUZEN Japanese Restaurant in Hartamas. Its a really nice restaurant. I liked the deco n layout n food was good too. Mr. Mango's gf, Haruka who is jap recommends it, so if a jap says its nice means it should be.

We were seated in a couple's booth (well i don't know what its called but i call it the couple's booth anyway because it fits two in a small secluded booth-like area) n the booth gives u a private feel, i like. Each booth even has its own buzzer to call the servers. So i would say service was good as well.

Here's what we ordered. Ebiten Tobikko Roll (prawn tempura roll), Guniku Misoyaki (beef slices in miso sauce), Fried Soft Shell Crab n Garlic Fried Rice. The hubby n i even had a little cooking session of our own while dining. For desert, we had Goma Ice which is actually black sesame ice cream n a chocolate-coated vanilla ice cream wafer. The food, although a little pricey, was really good. I don't mind paying the amount (which i didn't....he he) for good delicious food n i would definitely come back. It was a fun experience n i enjoyed dinner very much. Love u darling!!

To top it all off, this wasnt even my birthday present........yet. My birthday present is .......

to be continued ;p.

gift happy

2008-09-05T13:41:00.012+08:00

The days approaching my birthday have been more than what i've expected. Well, i didnt actually expect anything apart from a few birthday wishes and maybe a dinner or two. Instead i got quite a few surprises and am singing happy because of it.

3 days prior to B'day

I was back home for a good 2 months. So the day came when i was to leave after a very long break, leaving my presence here n there. Since i just got back from my trip to Melbourne, i didnt get the chance to catch up with the DOA girls. But luck was on my side and somehow my flight was delayed and the DOA girls sent me off at the airport. Not to forget, they showed up with pressies in hand........(rubs hands and grins).

I loved the presents a lot! Each of it unique in its own way n its just what i needed for my expanding collection of cookbooks. I guess im quite predictable when it comes to my desires.

chocolate box ~ i love anything to do with chocolate. n by having this book, i get to explore more recipes using chocolate. yum yum.
cupcakes & muffins ~ since cupcakes are the craze right now n they are super easy to make (i would like to think so), this book is going to be really useful for my quick fix ups n pretty gifts.
party! ~ yay, a guide book to hosting parties which i enjoy doing. watch out for my next party!! *smiling myself silly*

1 day prior to B'day

I was awaken by the silly guards buzzing the intercomm from the guardhouse. So i dragged my half asleep feet to the door to answer the annoying call.

buzz...buzz

me: (yawns!) hello...

guard: hello, got package from gdec for u.

me: gdec? (puzzled) who? what package? (im thinking why the hell would i be receiving a package n who the hell is gdec)

guard: yes package from gdec. can send him to u?

me: oh ok. (at this point i was thinking oh well, just get it n figure out the package later)

click.

So i got off the intercomm n got out of my nightie n waited for the gdec package to arrive at my doorstep. The delivery guy came, asked if i was my sister n to avoid it becoming a long story i posed as my sister, signed n took the package. Turns out, it is GDex n not gdec n the package was for me from my beloved darling sister. Another surprise n i was prancing around the house by now. (I hardly receive anything in the mail apart from the usual newsletters n bills, so this one was one of the few things that would make me go yippeedi yay!!)

Guess what i got in the package!! More books!! Not just any books. But books that ive always needed n wanted. *grins again*

cake decorating step-by-step ~ just what i needed to guide me through this learning journey of mine in becoming a great cake decoratuer
the whimsical bakehouse ~ more ideas n projects to try out. yay!
bake me i'm yours cupcake ~ cupcakes anyone??

Im really touched by the gifts. My sister and friends have been a real sport by being supportive of my dreams. I love u guys so much. When it came to the part where i read the birthday cards, i couldnt help myself from tearing.I was happy. I was touched.

As u can see, i am not hard to please. At ALL!!

N this is just the beginning......

winter in melbourne

2008-09-01T23:28:00.006+08:00

Not one to withstand cold, i had a tough time coping with the weather in Melbourne.

Although ive been to places far worst where temperatures would reach -12 C, i was not quite prepared for the wet winter here.

Luckily, i brought quite a few pieces of warm clothes (googled the weather before i left) and survived on layers after layers.

Nevertheless, i had a good time in Melbourne, navigating the roads and exploring the city as well as the suburbs.

The only thing that was eating up my adventure was a "BAD ASS" blister on my foot.

I blistered my foot on the first day exploring the entire CBD (i didnt have good comfy boots, instead i ended up wearing a pair of pointed wedges; the only shoes i had with me).

The rest of the holiday was spent hopping n testing my plastered foot.

Currently: back in hot n humid Malaysia

getaways

2008-08-14T21:01:00.004+08:00

i never knew planning a holiday would be this hard. the endless surfing n collecting informations...... its such a headache. but i guess if i want to have a good holday i must do my homework first.

places to go

things to do

where to stay

how to get there

etc etc

im cracking my head and straining my eyes. nothing beats the end result though. a good fun filled getaway.

anyone has tips about thailand?

in the meantime, its 5 more days till my melbourne trip. yay!

snipping away

2008-08-03T16:25:00.006+08:00

Im thinking of getting a new haircut. Im getting quite bored with the one im having now. My hair is outgrowing its supposedly style anyway. But it wasnt long ago since i had the last one. Am i that bored or is my hair growing really quickly?

Me and my hair, we have this love-hate relationship. At times i love my hair n at times i loathe it so much i cant stand looking at it. My hair on the other hand has its mood swings too! When it's nice to me, its so manageable and listens to me. When its not, it just does whatever it desires to piss me off.

Now im just wondering which new hairstyle i should try. A daredevil? Chameleon? Maybe.

long - check
short - check
spiky - check
curly - check
bangs - check
fringe - check
colour - numerous

What's next?

Im off to the salon tomorrow. Ms hair, i have a treat for u!

in a perfect world

2008-07-30T23:06:00.004+08:00

mood: gloomy (signs of pre-depression showing.....especially in my dreams. ive been worrying myself to sleep off late. that's not a good sign)

wants: a miracle or at least a fairy godmother who can make my wishes come true

when u have too much time in ur hands u eventually use it up by daydreaming and fantasising. that's exactly what ive been doing for the past two weeks (apart from being part nanny n part sloth). thinking of all the 'what ifs' and 'if only' which most of the times end up into unrealistic goals.

i had just completed yet another course a month ago n definitely had enough of studying. now im jobless again n getting poorer. im wishfully thinking (well actually hoping and trying to make it happen by delaying any effort in finding a job) of taking a long break, maybe half a year before jumping into the slavery bandwagon of the food & beverage industry. mum keeps pestering me about getting a job but i just dont want to right now. i know this will be the only time i get to relax my ass off before working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day and no weekends off. i'll be stripped off any social life or worse, my 'me' time for that matter.

unless............i strike gold and end up not having to lift a finger my whole life. i can have all the 'me' time in the world and yes yes turn into paris hilton (socialite wannabe).....haha

just when i thought i am finally doing the right things (following my heart, which i later found that its as confused as my head), i feel even more at lost than before and i am back to square one. not knowing what to do and how to make it happen. not knowing where to start and who to go to. undeniably, not knowing if what i chose is right.

hopeless......... (no wonder the parents cant stop worrying about my future........but thankfully big sis hasnt stopped supporting me through my struggle with communicating with ehem ehem or lack thereof, either).

all this worrying which led to daydreaming (but ended with even more worrying) is why im writing this entry in the first place.

in a perfect world as envisioned by me (fast forward 3 years)

im married to hubby, staying in our own single storey/simplex house/condo, with our beloved pets and adorable children (maybe not yet.... 2 years is too soon for me to have kids).
i am a self taught professional cake decorator cum party planner and owns a custom cake shop cum events company (self taught here stresses how i really do not want to work under people.....at all) n still manages to have a social life and be a fashionista.
ive settled down in europe or elsewhere (where small cake enterprises succeed better than here in malaysia), at least for a few years. recognition is good but not a priority.
i earn a decent amount enough to satisfy my spur of the moment needs yet still able to survive if something were to go wrong with u-know-what.....hint: dr phil? (touchwood)
im working from home or at least have flexible working hours (well if im the boss i get to choose my time) so that i have enough time to run errands, be a fabulous wife, a supermom n still make money..hehe
im a doting mother, loving wife, responsible daughter n reliable sister to my loved ones
i have enough money to move my whole family to stay on the same street, wherever i may be.

p/s: i think 3 years is all too soon for all this to happen.....got to recalculate my time

p/s/s: if self taught professional cake decorator cum party planner doesnt seem to work, i'd probably be an interior designer or a food stylist. u think?

*poof*......snap out of it missy

a distant part of me

2008-07-27T14:37:00.005+08:00

grandma (dad's mom) celebrated her 82nd birthday yesterday in the company of her siblings, children and grandchildren. a photo session was organized for grandma who was dressed in a kimono, a culture she is very much part of.

grandma was born in the "kuno family". a family that i am distantly linked to but proud to be part of. lately, after all the years probably decades, there have been a few family reunions with our japanese relatives.

i would love to know more and explore deeper on that other part of me. hopefully, go to japan (which i have never been to till now) and trace back the roots of my great grandfather, Seijikuno.

i wonder how it will be like??

anyhow, this was the cake i made for grandma's birthday. it was my first attempt and im rather happy with the outcome.

chocolate banana gateau